“This mistake” has been a wonderful

Races as well as culture play a large influence in the numbers and percentages of statistics in teen pregnancy. The reason race has a big influence on teen pregnancy isn’t plainly just because some races are simply are more prone to teen pregnancy, but due to the different outlooks of sex they grew surrounded by, as well as influences, which is also followed by the socioeconomic status the teen mother grew up in . With many cultures come trends and footsteps, which become somewhat of an example and norm to follow.  For example, if getting pregnant before wedlock has happened before within the family it is most likely to happen again, because it has been witnessed and might not seem like a big deal.

According to the The National Campaign, in a study done back in 2000, the pregnancy rates among black women aged 15-19 were 153 per 1,000 women; while Hispanic teenagers aged 15-19 139 per 1,000 and white teenagers aged 15-19 were 71 per 1,000. Even looking before the year the study was done in 2000, the trend was still very similar and has not changed much.  While it may seem to be a broad generalization to point out that race can affect teen pregnancy, it is truly a combination of culture, race and support system that can put a teen at risk for pregnancy. Because while doing some research, I came across many different personal bibliographies of teen mothers who came from different cultures, and read about the rare support that was given by family and friends. This here surprised me for the reason that while the more conservative cultures such as the Asian and the Middle Eastern cultures proved to have a lower percentage in teen pregnancies compared to other cultures; I did notice that the girls that were victims of the situation were many times disowned for not offered any help at all. This made me realize that while neither culture out there expect for the girls to become pregnant young, there are cultures out there who accept it better than others. The reason I think this is because in some cultures it is a common thing while in others it is one of the worst things that can be done to humiliate the family name.

It has been argued for many years whether or not teen pregnancy might be the one of the effects for not having enough sex education in school or whether it’s because society and the media portray sex as an appropriate suitable act on television and magazines. Society seems to be very judgmental and looks down on teen pregnancy, but yet it’s society itself that tunes in every week to watch that one show where nothing but sexual content is being displayed.

It seems to me that more and more every year more shows are displaying things that they shouldn’t be such as Gossip Girl, Skin, Jersey Shore, and the list goes on and on. These of shows display underage sex and pre marital sex, but yet when it happens in true life and a baby comes out of the situation it seems like an inappropriate act has been committed and it’s going to be the end of the world. Therefore I feel that if society sees teen pregnancy as a terrible thing it should be society its self that puts a stop to the sexual content on the television shows. Furthermore it is not only television that is screening and displaying sexual content as a suitable act, it is also everyday teen magazines such as Seventeen, Cosmo Girl, and Glamorous, that not only how pictures of such actions but articles specifically just on that topic are always the attention getter on the front page. The point I am trying to get at is if society itself is making it seem okay in public then why is society still so taken back on teen pregnancy?

     This brings me to still support that while most teen pregnancies are assumed to promiscuity and careless behavior there are many underlying factors, and they are how time has changed that way teen pregnancy is viewed, race (culture), class, being seen as an “other”, and the way society/ the media, view and advertise the subject have a big effect on the likelihood of teen pregnancies. And while many people believe consider teen pregnancy as a big mistake, I am here to say that age isn't what matters when being a mother; it's how good of a mother you can be. If you can love a child, take care of a child properly, and care about and accept the child; that is the only qualification that is needed to be a good mother. Having gone through the experience “this mistake” has been a wonderful one that I wouldn’t trade for the world. Even though some people said my life ended when I decided to keep my daughter, I must disagree and say that my life really just started, and she didn't take away my future, you gave me a new one, a better one.

"It is only females who can give the gift of life, carrying a baby and giving birth empowers females"

A female carrying a human inside her womb for 9 month should not be judged in a negative way or be seen and referred to as an “other”, for it is only females who can give the gift of life. Carrying a baby and giving birth empowers females, no matter what the age of the mother might be. It is for once a connection that 2 women can share no matter the age, because for once they share an unconditional love with a person, who may have or may have not been planned to come into this world. But if the case may have been that they were not planned, I’m sure neither mother would trade it for the world after seeing such an innocent precious face. But then reality hits and the judgmental thoughts and comments that people utter out, because even if you’re happy with the way things turned out they’re not because you’re not old enough to experience the breathtaking feelings that come along with mother hood.

When it comes to being judgmental friends, family, and society are all guilty of such behavior, especially when it involves adding to the human race, and the mother happens to be less than twenty. Either way it is an insult to expecting young mothers to be viewed as an outcast, an “other” or even be classified as a disappointment to society, due to their biology.

Friends, family, and society have always been so opinionated and judgmental of teen parenthood, but yet have always viewed abortion as an inhumane act. It’s as if there is no right to the situation, Even though it has been proven that half of no marital births happen to teens, and even though a large percent of teen mothers cost tax payers millions of dollars due to them being on welfare. There should always be the benefit of the doubt because not everyone goes down the same road. Also that another big issue that society is concerned about is that teen mothers lack of possible education experience because might miss out on because 49 %of teen mothers don’t receive high school diplomas and  2%of teen mothers  graduate from 4 college. But not ever case is like that because many times an infant doesn’t only bring joy and happiness into someone’s life but also motivation to become a better person.

Not in every situation does a teen mother get dragged down and becomes part of a statistic. In my case I became an “other” at seventeen when I became pregnant and I gave birth to my daughter Aniyah at the age eighteen. I still graduated high school, and went on to college as a pregnant freshman. I must admit being a pregnant college student was one of the hardest things I have experienced to this day.  It was hard enough having to deal with the reactions my family and friends had when they found out, and then having to come to school with a big belly that was constantly getting stared at throughout the day just topped it off. Not to mention  all the awkwardly  stares I would get from people who I knew wondered “is she just fat, or is she pregnant?” and all the questions that were constantly asked by class mates like “How much time are you planning on taking off after?” and “When are you thinking of coming back?”. Even though I really wanted to come back to school, and had mentally told myself over and over again that I was coming back, the reality was that deep down, I really wasn’t even sure if I would come back. Luckily, it was like it was meant to for me to come back, because I had my Aniyah over spring break, started school a week later, and I’m proud to say that I’ve been in school ever since.  

“Trouble reproducing trouble"?

It wasn’t a world ago that conceiving a baby at a young age was not seen as a crime but rather seen as the norm. Over time many there has been a handful of events, which have attributed to the historical changes  in the transition to parenthood, and deciding what is considered now to be a good age to become a parent. Over time the way teen pregnancy is viewed has taken a turn, and has begun to be viewed as “trouble reproducing trouble”. Reality is that there once was a time when giving birth to an infant before the mother’s twentieth birthday was the traditional and accustomed way to plan motherhood.

Since the 1700 and 1800’s there have been many changes in the way children and teens are educated on the topic of parenthood.  The transition to parenthood has transformed and revolutionized due to the changes in society, from changes in family structure to also changes in the teens themselves.  “When the times change, ways of life have to change as well”.  Going back to two- three centuries ago everything in life was scheduled to happen a lot sooner from parenthood to death. It could have possibly been due to the fact, which life expectancy was shorter from anywhere on their later thirties to early forties. Thinking back to history and the lack of technology there were times in which was almost mandatory to create a family at a young age  in order to face fewer complications in comparison to someone over their thirties.

To begin with the onset of wars such as the American Revolution, the Civil War, and the Vietnam War, were some of the events that started leaving mothers to care for the children on their own due to the fact the father figure at times would be deployed and not end up returning home for whatever the reason was. This showed society that it was not easy to be a single parent and this is when views started to change, because society felt that the children that were raised by single parents were affected in many as they grew older. Industrialization was also a big factor in the conversion of how teen pregnancy was viewed because along with industrialization came technology and opportunity.  Opportunity to improve technology and be more than a blue collar worker, this is also when becoming a more educated person became essential.  With the rural to urban shift, smaller family sizes, and increase in high divorce rates, it became easy for society to transition their view on teen pregnancy, teen parenthood, and family structure and that is why views, opinions, and statistics have been altered.

Views and opinions have been altered to what some say for the better, society now wait for parents to be college graduates, wedded have a stable home in a safe neighborhood. Due to the reasons that having both parents around increases the chances of the child’s well being , more stability due to the fact that they are educated and most likely have a stable career.  Versus 48% of all non-marital first births occur to teens making them the largest single group and also teen mothers who only have a 51% rate that have a high school diploma compared to 90% who didn’t have a teen birth, not to add that most teen mothers end up on government assistance (Teenpregnancy.org).

Too many choices...

When I finally decided to face the potential truth, I came to discover what was really going on,  thinking and wondering of possibly being pregnant was no longer a thought, it became an acknowledged fact. I went through weeks of confusion and decision making. I knew I had numerous of options and every single one would affect me and the rest of my future. My options lingered through my mind for days, abortion, adoption, going through with the pregnancy, marriage, or even just keeping the baby to myself, for once I wish there had been fewer options. Although abortion was an option that kept lingering through my mind, but even just thinking about it made me feel extremely guilty and selfish, it was like the thought of it brought an atmosphere of tension and weight that I know wasn’t something I could carry on forever. The feeling of heartbreak and guilt that came upon me when the thought of abortion lingered through my mind was due to the fact that I was always taught by family, church, even article readings that abortion was an inhumane act, to the zygote/fetus/ baby that is unheard and unable to speak for itself. I felt like I was no one in society to say that an innocent person shouldn’t be brought to this world and should be terminated. After more thought and deliberation, I decided that facing the consequences to my actions and taking responsibility was my best option, I could only wish, hope, and pray that I was right.

The questioning of my future started, after deciding to go through with my pregnancy. Would I still be able to continue my education and go to college? Or would I just become part of the statistic which shows, only 2% of girls that become pregnant before their 20th birthday (teen mothers) graduate from a 4 year university?( Teenpregnancy.org)

Bitter or sweet...bittersweet?

Trying to be an independent-minded teenager, who is still putting the puzzle pieces together to find out who they are, while trying to enjoy their once in a life time teenage years but at the same time being on their way out of teenage hood, with no pause or rewind buttons can be very disappointing on its own. Now imagine having to take a detour for nine months, to confront an unplanned pregnancy, which will only be followed by several subsequent events that will only add a “tiny” amount of pressure on the journey into adulthood. Truth is that there are options and not every teenage girl is ready to face the struggles, challenges, and criticism from society, that come along with any pregnancy, yet alone it being a teen pregnancy, but for those who take the given path that “faith” has brought to them a new world awaits on the other side. From financial struggles, to being criticized by friends, family, and society, to even having to possibly put the mothers education on hold to care for her infant, whatever the case maybe or the mothers age is, a pregnant teen should not be looked down on and be seen as an “other”. This brings me to believe that while most teen pregnancies are believed and attributed to promiscuity and careless behavior there are many underlying factors such as race (culture), class, the way society/ the media, view and advertise the subject have a big effect on the likelihood of teen pregnancies. 

During the first 17 years of my life, I thought that I had been confronted by many difficult decisions which had seemed like they would have an impact on the rest of my life. Such as trying to decide what color my new car should be, to where I should go for spring break too even if I should I accept the promotion offered to me at work.   To come and find out, how I had been completely wrong. It was actually that year that I was about to be confronted by my first decision that would actually impact the rest of my life. It had been a couple of weeks that I had missed my period, I didn’t think too much of it. I guess I didn’t want to face the possible facts of what that could mean, I was in denial.